Leadership advice is everywhere. Between books, videos, podcasts, and the internet, there’s enough content on “being a better leader” to blanket the solar system. My LinkedIn feed is a flood of inspirational quotes, “Top 10” lists, and earnest faces way too close to the camera offering wisdom about leadership. It all sounds noble, but here’s the issue: most of the advice lacks the hard part—the how.
“Be a great communicator.”
“Foster a collaborative environment.”
“Be empathetic.”
“Continuously seek feedback.”
No one will argue with these—they’re self-evident truths. But how do you actually achieve them?
Today I’m taking a look at the “how” behind the one: “Be a great communicator.”
It’s one of those things that is (maybe ironically) easier said than done. Sure, some aspects of communication can be learned, but much of your effectiveness in communicating depends on something harder to pin down: you.
Your personality, that complex mix of tendencies and quirks, profoundly affects your leadership and how your message comes across to others. It’s not just about how you see yourself; it’s about how others experience you. Most people don’t think too hard about how their own personality and outlook on the world shapes the way they communicate. “This is who I am,” many of us think. “Take it or leave it.” And if we’re the CEO of a company, we tend to put the onus on the communication recipient.
But if you want to truly be a better communicator, the first rule is simple: Know Thyself.
Start by figuring out your own tendencies. Tools like DISC, MBTI, and StrengthsFinder can be a great starting point. They won’t hand you a perfect blueprint for communication success, but they’ll shine a light on the behavioral patterns and styles you lean on most.
Take time to reflect on the qualities that make you, well, you—and how they influence your communication, from the way you lead meetings, the way you deliver feedback, the way you share company updates, the way you talk about your decisions, the way you lead the board. Even your email style can have big effects.
In communicating, are you analytical? Empathetic? Decisive? Try to boil it down to a handful of adjectives that really feel like your core traits. Then, ask others how they see you. It’s amazing how much you can learn when you ask colleagues or friends to share their honest impressions. Their feedback often reveals blind spots or strengths you might not fully appreciate.
Once you have a sense of who you are as a communicator, consider putting it into a User Manual. This doesn’t have to be some grand manifesto. Think of it as a simple guide that explains your leadership style, your preferences, and even your pet peeves. Share how you work best—whether that’s your decision-making process or your go-to communication style. (Here’s mine.)
As you write your User Manual, be open about how you tend to communicate and what motivates you. People want to know what lights you up, what drives your focus and energy. And yes, share your quirks too. Let people know the things that irritate you or throw you off track. It’s not about being demanding; it’s about setting the stage for smoother collaboration, and thus, being a better communicator.
When you take the time to understand yourself (and let others in on the secret) it changes the game. Leadership isn’t about forcing people to adapt to you or pretending you have it all figured out. It’s about self-awareness. Now that you know how you communicate—whether you tend to be concise or verbose, candid or tactful, directive or questioning—you can better see how people receive you and what you have to say. And, critically, you can tailor communication to the audience to ensure you have the impact and persuasion and inspiring effect that effective CEOs share.
That’s one of the most critical hows behind great communication—one we CEOs should work on every day.